Commitment: Dating for Love? Or Dating for Loving?

Perhaps due to the pressures of giving your everything to a relationship casually, society has molded to a strange relationship model: commitment first, relationship second. That is to say, society expects exclusiveness from the start. The same exclusiveness once reserved for marriage. Perhaps that is why marriage is out of season. What is a wedding, but a ceremony that merely resembles sex, the joining of two people in union? Surely a piece of paper, and a walk with a few words changes nothing. A wedding is a public announcement of the "union" you are about to take, so society can enforce that you stay together. Marriage is the union between two people, and that happens the moment you join together. But enough of that philosophical jabber, what does this mean for a relationship?

It means pretending to be commited to a person you don't even know is a reality for most people. This is a problem, because that kind of commitment is very difficult, without something to build upon.

That's where online dating can help you. Other than an often exaggerated photo, the only thing you can go by online, usually, is personality. This means before you ever even meet, you will have known their mind already. In the same way, friendships often make better romances, because there is something to build upon. It used to be, people would "court", which basically just means a romantic friendship between a man and a woman, without the crazy love making that is considered casual today. The type of physical emphasis society often leads to less than lasting relationships.

The best approach is to focus on finding compatibility, through common hobbies, activities, or just spending fun time together. Getting to know each other's minds before commitment, makes that commitment have something to stand on.